CLINGING EFFECT

Sometimes in life we fail to draw boundaries, which define the extent and limitations of our relationships, which impedes our personal and social growth. This includes the clinging effect in our relationships. Many times we fail to resist the temptation of enmeshed closeness, which blurs the distinct separation and individuation of ones personality from others.

Initial phase of relationship is marked by amazement and wonder when we start seeing the world from another person's angle. Everything looks new and different. But with the passage of time, we come to know about the encroachment on our personal borders in the form of deprivation from our personal insightfulness, from self-realization, sophistication and off course the discipline (that we ourselves achieves through getting rid from external chaos via internal silence).

It might be considered that the affect occurs due to three things.

1) One is mesmerized and overwhelmed by the intrinsic beauty of someone’s personality so much so that one is ready to transform his or her personal identity into another's. And finally get draped themselves in another's cloak for good.

2) Some people find it an access or an outlet to get rid from their personal arid zone. They feel trapped, haunted, feared within, which leads them to seek out escape all the time. These individuals are prone for clinging as any relations (true or fake in nature) seems as a means of rescue to them.

3) The person has no intention to fall into an enmeshed relationship. But with the course of mutual understanding, personal boundaries get enmeshed and one feels trapped when encroachment occurs more than half way from borders to center.

An individual's personal identity has to find a strong hold in ones life as he or she determines the purpose of living and defines the uniqueness of ones personality. It helps in crisis and adaptation in difficult situations. It assists in acquiring mature coping strategies. It prevents one from falling into a pit of low self-esteem or poor confidence.

The ability of maintaining this difference and distinction is crucial for personal growth. It evolves with the interaction and participation in interpersonal affairs. As the turmoil of interpersonal conflicts always gives you space to accept the difference or to reject the difference.

One has to make choices throughout life to cover for deficiencies, to glorify exclusiveness, to show expertise, to undermine frustration or rejection or any process other than these ones.

Human being's behaviors are gauged by the preferences that make the core of their personalities. Personal harmony, which can be defined as the extent to which one is satisfied with self in isolation, is necessary to keep the turmoil under-surface and high-light differences to prevent getting embroiled with others.

Keeping difference is healthy or not?

This question seems quite relevant here, because it has its own benefits and perils to observe.

Entertaining differences in excessive manner is harmful for social interaction as it undermines the choices that others make for their lives. It sends underlying message of disregard for other people's preferences. Maintaining it in a healthy term is like optimization of volume in accordance to hertz of auditory organs.

Too much undermining of the differences makes us labile and deprive one from the identification from self, prevents process of self awareness and keep away one from self explorative journey. This hinders one's growth and development in life. Through appreciation of differences we raise, we feel our self as distinct and this separation defines our boundaries and corners.